What is free time?

  It's often hard to think back to my pre mama years. Not that 7 years ago is that far back, but more like my brain doesn't compute that time. Though I do often find myself nostalgic as to  what I did in my free time, and what it was like. Free time nowadays is few and far between for me. I often envy the mothers that get the 8 hour school day break from their kiddos. But then I look at my boy and  I am truly grateful I get to be his teacher.

  As I lay here "relaxing" in the tub I find myself thinking. (yes, I have free time right now because Liam is at my friend's house for half an hour.) You know the normal mama stuff like, "shit, I left the clothes in the washer again. Now I have to waste more money on detergent and fabric softener, not to mention electricity to wash them again. What did Liam eat today? (This is where I rack my brain trying to remember what I gave him and what he helped himself to.) How much did he drink? Did he have a bm? Was it too hard? Wait..... why isn't he knocking on the door????? Oh that's right. He is at my friend's house so I can have 30 minutes to myself...." Back to thinking..... I guess that's why I don't remember my pre mama years. My mind is too busy worrying about being a mama to remember what it was like before I was a mama.

 So you see, even my "free" time isn't free time. I would love nothing more than to sit down and focus on my writing. To write for you all, some eloquent piece on our life with autism and what it means to us. But I can't. Instead I give you boring, slice of life shit because to be honest, that's all I got. Some days I am far too tired and far too irritated to even relive the days events and be able to blog  about it for release. It's often just easier to let sleep come and worry about a new day tomorrow.

  So, how did I spend my 30 minutes of freedom? Well I spent 15 mins doing dishes. By the time I finished that, I got around and drew a bubble bath. Pita had express instructions from me to get Liam in 30 minutes. (It's been a long day and I was afraid any longer than that and he would act out and then my friend wouldn't want him to come visit. I doubt that would happen, but it's one of my fears.) I didn't even finish this post and I heard, knock knock knock, "mama!" ( he always Sheldon knocks.) and so, once I again I was interrupted mid thought. So, you now see why when I do write it's most always SOL shit???? Don't hate on me for my glamorous life.... JK I know many, if not all of us are in similar boats....