Christmas Creeper

  I love Christmas A LOT! I annoy the crap out of PITA with my Christmas cheer, my carols, and my baking. Well, maybe not the baking so much, because he enjoys sampling that. Liam also loves Christmas. Maybe even more than I do. So in the spirit, he is already watching holiday movies, and downloading apps on my phone. One in particular made me nervous, angry and sad at the same time....

pic courtesy of iTunes app: Sleeps to Christmas Lite

                                                                     
   47 SLEEPS TO 
CHRISTMAS. ARE
   YOU FREAKIN'
  KIDDING ME???






 Now I am freaking out!  Liam keeps showing me this countdown. The "Christmas Creeper" as I call it! What are we going to do???  Not long ago I blogged out the realization of just how broke we are, (If ya missed that, and wanna know, check it out here.) and Christmas just keeps creeping up on us! 

 Some suggested local churches. Well, around here, one church gets the others together and they sponsor families. Not this year. Everyone has it rough and they told us they can't help us. A slap of reality in the face when you count on that for your child's Christmas. (I know, never count on anything, but what else are we to do. And I am not upset with them, I get it, I do.)

 

I have extra to spare... 

So now what? I have offered to sell my body for extra money, but no one wants any of this shiz.....



 I really am freaking out. I am hiding behind humor because frankly, that is how I get by.  But, every day my son works on his Amazon wish list. Adding, adding, obsessing, and adding some more. Last year he was at odds with the idea of Santa, and though I don't lie to my child, I did. I didn't want to lose the magic, not yet. 

 What now? How do I tell him Santa can't come this year? He has already sent his list to him via his "Magic Mailbox." I over heard him telling my mother last night, "Santa came last night Nana. He took my list, and he kissed me on the forehead. I can't wait til Christmas morning!"

 The only thing I can figure is letting some bills go, because I won't see my child sad on Christmas morning. I know it's not about the gifts. I know it's about family, and friends, and being together. But try telling that to a 7 year old. An autistic one at that.... So, if you don't hear from me in January... it's because I didn't pay for the internet... Have no fear, we will survive..... Well, they will, I may not :P

                                                                     <3 <3 <3 <3

I'm not perfect.....

  Yesterday Liam had another eval to reinstate his TSS hours (since there was a lapse between providers, the insurance company took them away.) So anyway, he was very excited about this meeting, as he loves to see Dr. Dan. He dressed extra nice for him, and packed his pockets with snacks, even some to share with Dr. Dan.

  During the meeting, his obsession with collecting things was brought up. I opened my mouth, and out fell, "ugh yes, I think it's stupid." SAY WHAT???? DID I JUST SAY THAT????? Wow! Liam immediately looked at me, and was not happy. I quickly told him that's not what I meant.....but did I???


  For the most part I think they are cute. The one where he has to save EVERY fortune he gets from the cookies. He does this because he feels if you "throw it away, you throw away your fortune." That is cute! The one over rocks is pretty cool too. When ever we walk the creek bed, Liam will find some really cool rocks, and bring them home. Ok, not cool in my house, but he is perfectly happy storing them in the flower bed, so that obsession is A-Ok with me. The ones I don't like are: hanging onto clothes that no longer fit, saving his faves shoes even when they are falling apart and no longer fit, and bullet shells.

  For one, our house is much too small.....I am thinking we either need ANOTHER shed, or we need to rent a storage shed. As far as the shells, these are spent shells from when PITA and I target practice with my parents. Liam loves to watch us shoot, and once the shells cool, he loves to search the grass for them. Super cool, but then he brings them home. He plays with them alot! They are always all over the floor or the couch. It looks like we took party in some massacre aside from no blood on the walls and floors. They stink, they are dirty, and if we touch them, ALL....HELL....BREAKS....LOOSE.....

  Last night I sat him down and explained that mommy was sorry. I didn't mean to say they were stupid. What I meant was, I don't understand some of his obsessions. I made sure I pointed out the ones I love, but I also explained why I don't like some of them. I hope he understands. I still feel like crap about it. My mouth has no filter, and sometimes just spews crap that I have to clean up....

  I swear, I am NOT an insensitive jerk, but I also am not perfect.....

                                           <3 <3 <3 <3