Don't Ignore~ A Cyber Bullying Flash Blog

Cyber Bullying Flash Blog

I was asked to take part in this initiative to bring awareness to an ongoing issue of cyber bullying.





No mud slinging. No name calling. I won't stoop to a high school level. But I also won't sit back and act like this "community" isn't toxic in parts.




Some of these very advocates are screaming for acceptance. Are screaming that words hurt their children. Yet, these SAME parents are slinging these words at adults.

Now I ask you. If your child, your brother, your sister, your mother, your father or anyone you love for that matter, was being called vile names, would you sit back and ignore it? If any of those people you love, were being publicly ridiculed, blogged about, having memes made about them, would you not say anything? Would you tell your child to keep quiet if they were being bullied?

Hell no! You would tell them they need to stand up for themselves. And if they can't??? Then YOU would stand up for them.

So without calling people out. Without dragging their names, or their pages through mud, I will still stand up and fight. I KNOW the back story. I was there. I know who did what and when. Screen shots were taken. That is neither here nor there, because the point I am making, is bullying is bullying, plain and simple.

 I will say that you can't ask people not to bully your children, when you in fact are a bully yourself.

I will say that we all joined this "community" with a common goal. To meet other parents living with and affected by autism. NOT to be throw around cliques, or to be bashed in private blogger forums. Not to have the mean girl cronies coming out of the wood work to defend who's wrong when they don't know the back story.

We are all here, from different walks of life. With different opinions. With different stories. That doesn't make you better than me, or vice versa. It makes you DIFFERENT. Shouldn't that be embraced? Isn't that what we want for our children?

So stop and think. Before you speak. Before you type. There are REAL people behind these computers. Real people, with real feelings. Words DO HURT. We all know that. So lets start paying closer attention to the words we throw at others.

Let's stand as a COMMUNITY with a common goal and cause. Let's start acting like adults. Let's be role models for our children, and show them how to behave offline and online. Let's learn from our mistakes, from others mistakes. Let's start choosing our words. Stepping away from the key board if we are upset. Because we all know, that words most certainly hurt. Sometimes just as bad as a punch to the gut.

On that note, let me share our story.... Not one of cyber bullying, but the "old fashioned" kind of bullying. Words and actions...

My son was bullied. He was bullied for almost a year by a neighbor child. Just out of my ear shot. I had no clue. Though my son is very verbal, when he is upset, he clams up and holds it in. Even though I was always right there, this would happen where I couldn't hear it, and I was literally clueless.

Until one day in 2010. We were walking home from their house after we had a movie night. (We would put a movie in for the kids in their room, and the adults would watch a movie together in the living room) Liam started bawling when we were no more than 5 feet from their door. It was then that he came forth and said he was being bullied. Physically and verbally. My heart crumbled. He was upset for days, as was I. How did I not see the signs? How could I have missed this? Why wasn't I there to protect him. (It's not like he is ever far from me.)

He had had enough,  he took a stand. He stood up to his bully, and now they are friends. Pretty good ones at that. Liam wanted to speak out about his bully, so other kids wouldn't feel so alone. So at just 5 years old, he came to me, and together we created this quick video.

So that's our story. I pray you don't have one as well. Sadly, I think many of us do. PLEASE, teach your children that words hurt. Teach your children what makes a bully. Teach your children by YOUR example.

One more thing. This is Disney Channel's Friends for Change video about Bullying. Liam enjoys it. When I told him what I was blogging about, he said I should share this as well. Share it with your children.

To check out the other blogs joining in today, head over to A Legion for Liam. Look for the pinned post at the top, and the blogs will be listed in the comments <3

Cameras in Special Needs Classrooms ~ An Interview

Today, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tara. She is the driving force behind Cameras in Special Needs Classrooms. As a parent of a child who was neglected when he was in public school, I stand behind her, and her mission, 100%. My son was fortunate in that he wasn't physically abused, but we can't say the same for MANY other children. Sadly, abuse in special needs classrooms happen every day. If we aren't their voice, who will be?

(images used with permission from Cameras in Special Needs Classrooms)

-Tara, could you tell me what inspired you to start Camera's in Special Needs Classrooms?

My son has moderate Autism, OCD, and TICS. May 10th 2012, he came home and said, "Teacher mean to me today." My thoughts were teachers can come off mean, that maybe she was just telling him to sit down or something. Well, later that day we met up with Corey's friend in his classroom. He mentioned that Corey was crying (meltdown) because he forgot his money. They teacher's aide came over to Corey, hit him in arm, grabbed his forearm, yanking his arm till she was face to face with Corey, and she screamed in his face. Corey agreed what had happened. I looked at Corey to see if he had bruising and he had four finger bruises on his forearm, matching the boys story. I then became furious. I took the photos of his arm. The next morning I went up to the school to let them know what the children said had happened to Corey, by the aide. The school said they would investigate and get back to me. They called me back a few hours later and said that, the children made up the story. That the aide never touched him. I asked if there were cameras, so I can see if the boys made up the story. They said no cameras. I then made a police report, and showed police photos of my sons arm. They said I can file a report to keep it on record, but told me there was not much they could do since it involved school staff. I shared my story and concerns with my group on Facebook called, Dealing with Autism. Many had stories of unexplained marks and bruises, neglect, abuse, and more. So I decided that people need to be aware of this so changes will happen. I started Cameras in special needs classrooms May 15th 2012.

--Why do you feel that states need to take this seriously, and have these cameras in ALL special needs classrooms?

Many of these children can not communicate for themselves. Many of them are not believed. Some childrens' lives are very fragile and need constant care.

What would be the benefit(s) of having these cameras in the classroom?

Cameras will help these children have a voice in school, and help staff with any false accusations. Parents from all 50 states have shared their stories and concerns. Abuse and neglect are happening all over. This can catch bad staff and remove them right away, preventing more abuse. Staff can also use these cameras as a great teaching tool. To learn about each child's needs. Camera can also prevent abuse. Staff members mqy think twice before harming a child. Cameras will not STOP abuse, but cameras will CATCH abuse.

What ways can we, as a community help this vision come to light? What can we do?

I stress that everyone calls, e-mails, and visits with their State Representatives, Senators, and Congress. Focus on the ones who specialize in the Education. Also, make a petition for your state, and have as many sign this petition as you can. Petitions can help back you up. Stress safety of the children and staff should be first priority. When you see children coming home with unexplained marks and bruises, neglected, raped, and killed while in staff care, that is not safe. I'm asking everyone to stand together on this fight for cameras in special needs classrooms. Share your stories and concerns. Your child may have a great teacher and staff but still something could go wrong. One day I would like to see them expand to all classrooms. Baby steps due to funding. Most vulnerable childrens' classrooms first.

I look at the photos above and I become sick. I can't believe that anyone could harm a child in such a way. I can't believe that schools won't step up to the plate and provide these cameras to assure the safety of our children. I can't believe that we, as special needs parents always have to fight so hard for our children. Safety should be a given in a school setting. This has to stop! 

To follow Tara, or to find out more on what YOU can do for your children, and many others in your state, check out Cameras In Special Needs Classrooms.

Thank you Tara for taking the time to answer these questions, and for providing me with permission to use your photos.