All I Want for Christmas......Is a Friend.....

  This post is hard for me to write, but I am because I can't get this off my mind. Like many children with ASD, Liam struggles with socialization. On the rare opportunities that a neighbor kid does come over, Liam either ends up having a meltdown, smothering them, or bossing them around too much. He has "friends," but not ONE that comes every day or so to play with him. I think he just over whelms them. I understand, however, my sweet, well meaning son does NOT.
  At his last eval he even told Dr. Dan he "wants more friends." So it's obviously on his mind. We work with him. When a kid is here, we try to make sure he takes turns, isn't too bossy, isn't in their space too much, and so on. I don't think it's working.
  Now, pair him with his friend "J" that has Aspergers, and they go together like birds of a feather. It's great. I wish she lived next door though so they could play together every day....
  So the other night we were talking about going to see Santa on Saturday, and I asked Liam what he was going to ask Santa for.You see, for months, Liam has asked for EVERY toy under the sun. He has made list, after list, after list. He has pegged out his Amazon wish list TWICE!!! (those of you not familiar with the list and how much you can put on it...that's over 5 THOUSAND toys!!!) He has asked for EVERYTHING.....

.... but this time however, his reply stunned me. Shattered my heart, and made me have to hide some tears from him..... .
   "All I want for Christmas Momma, is a friend." Yep. That's what he said. My heart sunk into my stomach. We may not have a lot of money, and we try our best to grant his wishes every Christmas. But how in the world do I grant this one? I can't MAKE someone be his friend....
   I always try to view my son's Autism in a positive light. I know he has mild Autism, but that doesn't make some of his struggles any less. We are in the process of changing service providers for him, and the new provider is trying to get him 20 hours of TSS. I know this is something I can ask his new TSS to work on, but I don't know when he will be here. Waiting on paperwork and red tape is frustrating. What's more frustrating is seeing your child struggle and not being able to help. What's even more frustrating than that is seeing your child struggle over something many of us take for granted. The companionship of a good friend.
Play to children is a necessity. It helps them grow, learn and flourish.

  My child doesn't have this opportunity, and as a parent it pisses me off!!!! Not being able to help your child is to me, one of the hardest parts of Autism. So I am left with not knowing what to do. I will of course try my best to help him relate to the neighbor kids. I will of course keep asking them to come play with him. In the end though, a friendship is out of my control......
   So Santa, PLEASE help my child make a friend. PLEASE set his mind at ease about trying to fit in. PLEASE help him see that in order to have a friendship you must GIVE and take. PLEASE help him find just ONE kid, that can help my son grow and flourish and be happy......
 

Max Gamer~Aspie Superhero~A Review

  Yesterday Liam was stoked to find a copy of the Max Gamer comic book in the mail. He was even more excited when he opened it and saw it was signed, "Liam, You are Awesome! Dr. G" It made him feel so special, and his smile was ear to ear!

See, I told ya so :D

I originally learned about the comic book from a post in my news feed. I wish I could remember where, but my fibro fog is making it impossible to remember much of anything these days. I searched for the web site and emailed Dr. G. I told him how AUSOME this is for our kiddos, and what a great idea! I got an email asking for my address, and Dr. G came through and sent Liam a copy. What a kind man!!! To learn more about Dr. Frank Gaskill, you can visit his website here: Southeast Psych

Photo courtesy of the Max Gamer blog.

When I went to the website, one of the first things I saw was a statement from Temple Grandin.

"I read your Max Gamer Super Hero comic book

 and really Liked it.  I think it will help the smart Aspie kids to feel proud of themselves.

This comic would have helped me when I was a teenager who was being teased.."

-Temple Grandin -

Why was Max Gamer created?  "Max Gamer is intended for all children and was designed by “Aspies” for “Aspies.”  Asperger’s is not considered a syndrome by the the Max Gamer Authors but is considered a gift and an amazing skill." So Max Gamer was created by Dr. Gaskill and Ryan Kelly, for AUSOME kiddos like ours!!!!

To read more about the why's and how's or to order a copy please visit the MAX GAMER website.  

So, what did we think????? Well....

Liam couldn't wait to dig in and read it!!!

So before we settled in to watch our Christmas movie, we settled in to read Max Gamer. At first, Liam was all over the living room. He was listening, but as usual, unable to sit still. However, by the second page, he was at my side, listening, looking and smiling. You see, the book never comes out and says Max has Aspergers, but in the descriptions of him, there's no doubt. Liam looked at me and said, "Momma, was this written for me?" I told him no, but it sure does seem that way. Everything they describe about Max was like it was written for my lil man. (Kudos Dr. G and Mr. Kelly)

Moving through the story, (and I won't give it away here, because I am not one to spoil something for others) Liam became very intent on what I was reading. I could see how he was relating to Max's life. When it came to the part of Max's Dynagon cards, Liam was stoked!!!! (they were like a mix of Pokeman/Bakugan cards) That touch was especially a winner in Liam's eyes. He also liked how Max "kind of looked like Ben 10." Another of Liam's "heroes." 

Max Gamer, Aspie Superhero!

Photo courtesy of the Max Gamer Blog

In a nutshell, as a mother, I give the book 2 thumbs up. (The plot was great for kids. The pics were very eye catching too) Liam also gave the book "2 fums up!" His favorite part was "the Dynagon cards." And he "liked that it was about me." Meaning he related to the fact that it was written about a boy like him.

Max Gamer is the first comic book of it's kind to feature a super hero with Aspergers. I think it's a home run for Autistic kids, and I believe that every kiddo with Autism should have a copy. I also think it would be great if schools would read this to their students. It may just teach NT kiddos a little something about our ASD kiddos.

To get your copy please click here!

Thanks again Dr. G. Also a big thank to Ryan Kelly who helped in creating Max Gamer, and Kara Dahlheimer whom helped with the animations.

GREAT JOB by all!!!!!

Our Review of the Jiggler Gator Oral Motor Tool

         Today's post is a review of this:

The Jiggler Gator Oral Chewy (this sucker vibrates too!!)

 I can't remember where I first saw these AUSOME chewies....I know I was blog stalking, but I can't remember whose blog introduced them to me....I am sorry...If you know who you are, PLEASE tell me so I can give you props!!!
  When Liam saw these chewies he got really excited!!!! Momma went to Amazon to find them. There are many to chose from, and prices vary, so do you research! I aid $9.99 for Liam's and $4.99 shipping.
  These are made and distributed by Abilitations. However, they are pricey!!! They charge more than other stores that are selling the same product. As I said, I ordered Liam's through Amazon, but it came from Sensory Junction. You can CLICK HERE to go to their Amazon Store, or CLICK HERE to go to their website.
 So what did we think? Well for starters I was first concerned with the size. Liam is a gagger. EVERYTHING makes him gag. I was worried about the size of it and it just causing him to vomit when place in his mouth. He REALLY wanted it. I have his grant money set aside from Autism Hearts, so I figured, what the hell, let's get him one.
  When I opened it, I wasn't happy about the way it turned on. I installed the battery and when you turn it to turn it on, the bottom comes loose. Last thing I need is :Liam to be gnawing on a battery. Well, surprise, surprise, if I READ the directions, I would have avoided this. PLEASE FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS!!! Loosen the screw, install battery, then tighten the screw. This will keep the bottom from coming off when turned on. Okay, now momma was happy.....BUT, was Liam???????
  YES! He loves it! He mainly chews on the arms, because as I thought, the head is too big for his sensitive gagger. But he likes it!!!! He loves how it vibrates, and I have literally seen him with it at least 10 times a day. This is good!!!! No more chewing on his toys. No more chewing on me!!!!!
  So all in all, it was a great buy. I'm happy with it, he is happy with it, and I totally recommend getting one for your little chewer :)

                       The proof is in the pics:

He liked it so much, he even slept with it!!! He chewed himself to sleep :D

Tony Hawk Hoodie is Autism Friendly

  Do you have a kiddo who likes to hide when overwhelmed? I know I do! He has a body sock that he gets into when at home and he has the urge to hide, but in public, what can he do? Well, what he DOES is crawl up the back of my shirt, flashing my goodies to all who are close, and embarrassing the crap outta me!!! I have been thinking for months of what I can do when in public from stopping this from happening. Another fave thing he does is hiding his face in his shirt, and then he mows over any unlucky people in his way because his vision is inhibited!
  A month or so ago, my nephew got the coolest new hoodie. It zips all the way up, hood and all. It has mesh  for the eyes and mouth so you can zip up, hide your face, yet still see and breathe! Made by Tony Hawk, I thought this is the coolest damn thing I have seen. Now I know it wasn't made with kids with autism in mind, but it sure seems that way!!
  When Mimi and Paw asked for Christmas ideas for Liam, this was at the top of my list. When he opened that box he shrieked with joy! He put it on as soon as he was done opening gifts, even wore it outside and of course got it dirty. No matter, I will scrub those stains out. I am just happy that we can now go into public without my worrying about his need to hide when he is nervous. Without worrying he will flash my goods to strangers. And without me worrying that he will mow over some poor defenseless senior citizen because he is overwhelmed and can't see.

This is his "WOW" face :)

Rockin' the Autism Friendly Hoodie :)

For more info on these kick butt hoodies, or to get one for your Autie kiddo (and I totally, 100% recommend them) you can get them at Kohl's, or click here!

I told you so......

 Yep, I sure did!!! As a special needs parent, a wife, a daughter, one of the many things I have learned is to choose my battles wisely. This is often hard for me because I am a firm believer of letting my opinions be known, and I don't often like to back down. The older I get however, the easier it gets. So the battle I chose to let slide was the video game battle.
   We are a "techy" family. We love our video games and devices. Liam especially LOVES his video games. He would play them for days if we let him! (we don't!)  He got a baby video game system for his first Christmas, he was 7 months old. He LOVED it! It was called Little Leaps Grow With Me Learning System. You can check it out here. He then grew out of that and moved on to the VTech Vmotion. (Kind of like a Wii for kids but with learning games) He grew bored of that within a year, moved up to the Wii, and that took about a year for him to grow tired of, so he has now "graduated" to the Xbox 360.

I miss the days when we would play this together :(

   This is where the battle ensued. There are MANY games for the Xbox that I as a mother, DO NOT like. His dad didn't agree with me. His argument, "you don't censor his music, and cable tv is awful, so this is no worse." Now, I don't censor his music. If the song has multiple F words, then I do skip it, but otherwise I let it play. I feel that music is an artistic expression, made to invoke feelings and I don't think it deserves censorship. Liam loves ALL music (but slow and "sad") and he knows NOT to repeat the cuss if he hears it. As far as tv, we do have cable, and yes, it is horrible at times! Even if we censor the content, a nasty commercial will slip thru every now and then. So it is for that reason that I chose not to argue with the Mr.
    Now, those who know me, know I am a worrier! I worry A LOT!!! I worry about worrying. I worry that worrying about worrying is unhealthy. I worry that my mom (also a worrier) will worry about me worrying. So yeah, I am neurotic and I worry a lot! I worry about how these games will affect Liam. However, he is REALLY good at them. His faves (other than Skylanders) of course those damn "killing games." See below...

these are just a few of his faves!!!

So yeah, my son is 6 going on 16 in so many ways, but I was not comfortable with this,. Regardless, I shoved my thoughts back in my mind, swallowed my pride, and I stepped back. I told the Mr., "Fine, your call, but I will say I told you so if this blows up in our face!"

Fast forward a few months....Liam says, "Momma, my mind has scary pictures and I don't like it!" He wouldn't go into detail, but I knew something was up. He quit playing with his army guys, and he would get mad if his dad wanted to play one of the above games. So I pulled hubs aside, and told him, the games are done, put them away!!!! Liam still won't go into detail about the pictures, just that they have to do with the games. I am assuming he is replaying the games in his mind (damn photographic memory) and let's face it, they are graphic!!!! 

 So the games are put away. I got to say, "I told you so!" Liam was on the phone with his brother who asked for Call of Duty Black Ops 2 for Christmas (btw, the kid and his uncle beat it in one night when we rented it from the Redbox), and Liam already informed his brother, "you can't play that here. It's bad and I don't like it! Besides, we already conquered it!"

So that's that..... See, my worries were right......hubs needs to listen to me more ;)

(He knows that, but he will never admit it!! ha ha ha)

<3<3<3<3

 

How about NO.......

  Liam is a bargainer......He bargains for EVERYTHING!!! More computer time, more Xbox time, eating, going to bed, and most importantly SCHOOL!
  As soon as he walks out in the am, he will say, "momma! Can I skip school?" EVERY DAY he says this!!! When I say NO, he then starts the bargaining....."I will just do my core subjects if you......How about I pick what I do today, after I play Xbox......." It goes on and on.....
  This is ALL my fault. Yep, no hiding it here. I am a briber.....or should I say, "a positive re-enforcer." (To read a previous post on this, CLICK HERE)  From the time he was able to talk I have had to "re-enforce" his behaviors. "Eat your food, and momma will give you (chips, cookies, whatever junk he was into at the time) "Don't freak out in the grocery store, and momma will get you a prize." (Remember these we pre diagnosis days so I had NO clue why he was so rotten at the grocery stores.) "Pick up your toys and you can_____________" Whatever was his fave thing to do at that time.....So you see, I was ruining my son!!!!
  EVERYTHING is a bargain with him! "I will feed the cat, IF I can skip school?!" (his cat, his chore) "I will brush my teeth, IF I can skip school?!" "I will pick up my toys, IF I can skip school?!" So as you can see, there is a pattern here....

As I stated in a previous post, (You can read that here) this is the reason I started the First and Then approach..... NO sends him into a fast and furious downward spiral!  FIRST you feed the cat, THEN you do school, THEN you can play Xbox all day!!!! FIRST you brush your teeth, THEN you go to bed, THEN you get up and watch some cartoons before school.... It's hit or miss, but I'll take it.....I am just wondering when my 6 year old became smarter than me?!?!?!?!?

 

I Believe....

  I am starting to freak out! Liam is 6 and super smart for his age. He is already questioning the existence of Santa Claus. I don't lie to my child, but this is one exception. I will go out of my way to make him believe for as long as I can. However, pulling the wool over his eyes is NOT an easy thing to do.
  The shopping alone is not an easy task. He doesn't like to leave my side, so getting him to go anywhere so I can get some secret Santa work done is impossible. Sneaking stuff in the cart, under my coat is impossible as well. He likes to help empty the cart and put stuff on the register belt. Especially this time of year. He is no fool!
  I picked up some wrapping paper and tags the other day. His response, "well now I know what presents will be from you and daddy!" I have always used different wrap and tags from "Santa", even disguised my writing. He is SIX, why is this so hard ALREADY!!!!!
  He knows the store Santa's are "helpers" and report back to the man in charge, so that's not an issue. The issue here is how long am I going to be able to keep up this charade? I was older when I quit believing, like 4th or 5th grade.....my step son was 13 when he lost the magic of believing....I am afraid Liam will be like 7 and that breaks my heart. Once the magic is gone, how will I carry on.....I know, I know, Christmas is about Love, and Family, and yada yada yada.....For me it is also the MAGIC!!! The look of his face when he walks out Christmas morning, sees his Santa express around the tree, with its tunnels of gifts, choo chooing away around the tracks. I am glad I have a smart kid, but not happy that that may jeopardize the Christmas MAGIC......

This is Christmas Magic at it's finest! Liam was 3 and Santa brought him a stuffed reindeer. It was one of his most favorite gifts that year <3