Society has failed us....

Society has failed us all....

Society deems what is "acceptable" in our world. It feeds the media whom then warps these thoughts into biased, fear based reports. This is unacceptable.

Society tells our children it's not okay to be curvy.

Society tells our children it's not okay to be Gay.

Society tells our children how they should look, speak, and act.

Society doesn't accept those that are different. Instead it shuns.

Society has a lot of nerve.

As a parent, this makes me sick. Because of society projecting all these things on to my child, I must undo the harm it has caused.

My child is autistic. He is vulnerable. Society has warped him into thinking he is bad, he is wrong, and he is different.

WHY??? Because he doesn't fit the standard?

Because he chooses to be himself and embrace it?

I have spent 8 years molding this boy into the child he is. To be proud of who he is, and what he is, and to not care what others think of him.

Then, in a 5 minute fluff piece on the news, society took that from him.

Because of their wild and inaccurate assumptions of mass killings, society told my child that because he is autistic, that makes him a murderer.

You see, autistic people have intense perseverations. They take something in life, and then they hyper focus on it. It's what they do.

So when my son heard the news anchor say that this killer was autistic, he internalized that into thinking that because he is autistic, that makes him a killer.

And then he perseverated... and perseverated..... and perseverated.

I can't explain to you the intensity of this situation. If you are in fact autistic, or care for someone who is, you know what I am saying.

If you're not, then the best way for me to explain it is, my son cried and rocked and screamed for DAYS. He didn't eat. He barely drank. No one really slept. All because society planted an idea into his mind.

Society has my son thinking that because he is autistic, people are afraid of him. That because he is neurologically different, he is hard wired to kill. HE IS EIGHT!!!

 It has him thinking that because he likes the color purple, and Frozen, that he is homosexual. He didn't even know what the word meant!!!! I had to explain it to him. Yet, he thought he was because society tells us that toys are gender specific.

I can say  that society needs to cut the crap. It needs to stop assuming it knows how people should be. It needs to realize that every word it utters, falls upon innocent ears. It needs to stop trying to fit our children into it's preformed molds.

I for one won't be watching the news any more. It's sad when something that is supposed to inform us, instead scares or belittles us or the ones we love. All in the name of "getting a story."

I will also continue to let my son be himself.  Encouraging him to soar. I will continue to not deem any toy gender specific. I will let him be a child.

This world makes us grow up too fast, and I for one refuse to let him lose his childhood.  All because of society and it's ignorant ideals.

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My Messy Beautiful Life....

  When I got the email invite from Momastery about this project, I knew I had to take part. I knew I would fight my brain, and figure out a way to get my words out, come Hell or high water!!!! You see, a very large part of my messy beautiful life is that I live with chronic illnesses. A lot of them....

 The Fibromyalgia causes horrible brain fog and memory problems to boot! I can't tell you what I ate yesterday, but I can tell you EVERY single teacher I had since kindergarten. (Useless info is what PITA calls it.) I also have chronic fatigue syndrome, Hashimotos disease, Endometriosis, Hemorrhagic Ovarian Cysts, and more.... I don't want to bore you with the details.

 The chronic pain can be debilitating some days, but I push on. I have to. I am a mom. Not just a "normal" mom, I'm an Autism mom!






 My son Liam (whom is the reason I started to blog in the first place) will be 8 in May, and he is autistic. He has taught me a lot in 8 years. I have grown in ways I never would have imagined. (especially in clothing sizes!) I have learned that no love compares to the love between a parent and a child. I have learned that I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. Even on my worsT days, when I can't seem to get off my chair, I am still an ass kicking momma!!!

 I have learned that public schools really aren't for everyone. I have learned that I make a pretty damn good special needs teacher. (There is no feeling like hearing your child read, and knowing that it was YOU that taught him that.) I have learned that I am a force to be reckoned with. (Just asK NEB.... that school really despises me, because of my advocating for my son.)

 I have learned that I don't care.

Now before anyone decides to go sanctimommy on that sentence, let me explain. I don't care what you, or you over there... or you hiding behind your computer, think of me. I have lost "friends" because I talk about Autism and how it impacts our life, a LOT. My world revolves around my son, and if people don't like that, it's their loss.  It doesn't matter to me.


What matters is what my son thinks of me. What matters is what I think of me.



  I have learned that even though this world is chock full of asshats.... that there is still a TON of AUSOME people left in the world. A lot of these people follow us on A Legion for Liam. A lot of these people I now call friends. I have never really "met" them. I don't need to. I KNOW them. They are good shit! And even though I don't like social functions, if some of these ladies wanted to get together, I would jump and scream at the chance! (I'm talking about you Housewives!!!) I have learned that family doesn't mean you are blood related! I have gained 6 sisters in the last year and I love them all!

 I have learned that my family is even more amazing than I thought they were. They have rallied around Liam since his diagnosis in 2010. They have supported, and learned, and understand Liam and Autism. It's amazing. They have also rallied around me. They support me, and my decisions about our life. They offer me guidance when I feel like hope is lost. In general, they ROCK!!!

 So I guess what I am getting at is this. Your life may be "messy." It may be difficult. It may royally suck sometimes. But bottom line, someone ALWAYS has it worse. So be thankful. Be glad that you have a "messy, beautiful life!"

For more #CarryOnWarrior posts, click  HERE.

Today I cried....

Today I cried... The silent, don't let him see you, kind of cry. Thinking about it now, I still want to cry. 

Earlier, an old friend of PITA's stopped in. (We will call him Mr. B) Liam saw that he had a knife on his pocket (like most men in this area do) and was so excited. He's a man's man. He loves to impress the men in his life. So he began the trek from living room to his room and back. He was dragging out all his "bug out bags," camping supplies, and so on.

He was so excited, he was virtually vibrating with energy.

He kept interrupting to get Mr. B's attention and show him each and EVERY thing.... There are a LOT of things! He is a collector of camping/outdoor gear.

<--- seriously though, who could resist this face???



Mr. B was so patient, and so kind. He gave Liam the utmost of his attention. I apologized for Liam's zealousness. He smiled, told me it was fine. I asked Liam to put his stuff away, and clean up his toys. He replied, "I just can't mama! I found another lover of bug out stuff!" And on he went... showing, explaining, pacing.

In that moment, my stomach knotted. Liam had no clue of what was he was doing. No clue that Mr. B really just wanted to visit with his dad. No clue, that he was monopolizing, interrupting, and in an innocent way, being a bit rude.

When Mr. B left and Liam was diligently putting away ALL of his stuff, I cried. Each time he walked into the room, I quick wiped away the tears, and smiled at him. I thanked him for doing such a great job cleaning up. We went about our day.

I spoke about this with PITA tonight. Asked him if he noticed as well. He smiled, and said he did. He commented on how Mr. B was so cool, and gave Liam his attention. Don't get me wrong, that is AWESOME! That makes my heart sing. But the fact that Liam had no clue of his actions broke my heart.
I can't explain why.

I am always so positive about autism, but I would be lying if I didn't say there are some days it gets me down. It punches me in the gut, and takes my breath away. I get up. I move on. He does, and so can I. For him <3

Don't Ignore~ A Cyber Bullying Flash Blog

Cyber Bullying Flash Blog

I was asked to take part in this initiative to bring awareness to an ongoing issue of cyber bullying.





No mud slinging. No name calling. I won't stoop to a high school level. But I also won't sit back and act like this "community" isn't toxic in parts.




Some of these very advocates are screaming for acceptance. Are screaming that words hurt their children. Yet, these SAME parents are slinging these words at adults.

Now I ask you. If your child, your brother, your sister, your mother, your father or anyone you love for that matter, was being called vile names, would you sit back and ignore it? If any of those people you love, were being publicly ridiculed, blogged about, having memes made about them, would you not say anything? Would you tell your child to keep quiet if they were being bullied?

Hell no! You would tell them they need to stand up for themselves. And if they can't??? Then YOU would stand up for them.

So without calling people out. Without dragging their names, or their pages through mud, I will still stand up and fight. I KNOW the back story. I was there. I know who did what and when. Screen shots were taken. That is neither here nor there, because the point I am making, is bullying is bullying, plain and simple.

 I will say that you can't ask people not to bully your children, when you in fact are a bully yourself.

I will say that we all joined this "community" with a common goal. To meet other parents living with and affected by autism. NOT to be throw around cliques, or to be bashed in private blogger forums. Not to have the mean girl cronies coming out of the wood work to defend who's wrong when they don't know the back story.

We are all here, from different walks of life. With different opinions. With different stories. That doesn't make you better than me, or vice versa. It makes you DIFFERENT. Shouldn't that be embraced? Isn't that what we want for our children?

So stop and think. Before you speak. Before you type. There are REAL people behind these computers. Real people, with real feelings. Words DO HURT. We all know that. So lets start paying closer attention to the words we throw at others.

Let's stand as a COMMUNITY with a common goal and cause. Let's start acting like adults. Let's be role models for our children, and show them how to behave offline and online. Let's learn from our mistakes, from others mistakes. Let's start choosing our words. Stepping away from the key board if we are upset. Because we all know, that words most certainly hurt. Sometimes just as bad as a punch to the gut.

On that note, let me share our story.... Not one of cyber bullying, but the "old fashioned" kind of bullying. Words and actions...

My son was bullied. He was bullied for almost a year by a neighbor child. Just out of my ear shot. I had no clue. Though my son is very verbal, when he is upset, he clams up and holds it in. Even though I was always right there, this would happen where I couldn't hear it, and I was literally clueless.

Until one day in 2010. We were walking home from their house after we had a movie night. (We would put a movie in for the kids in their room, and the adults would watch a movie together in the living room) Liam started bawling when we were no more than 5 feet from their door. It was then that he came forth and said he was being bullied. Physically and verbally. My heart crumbled. He was upset for days, as was I. How did I not see the signs? How could I have missed this? Why wasn't I there to protect him. (It's not like he is ever far from me.)

He had had enough,  he took a stand. He stood up to his bully, and now they are friends. Pretty good ones at that. Liam wanted to speak out about his bully, so other kids wouldn't feel so alone. So at just 5 years old, he came to me, and together we created this quick video.

So that's our story. I pray you don't have one as well. Sadly, I think many of us do. PLEASE, teach your children that words hurt. Teach your children what makes a bully. Teach your children by YOUR example.

One more thing. This is Disney Channel's Friends for Change video about Bullying. Liam enjoys it. When I told him what I was blogging about, he said I should share this as well. Share it with your children.

To check out the other blogs joining in today, head over to A Legion for Liam. Look for the pinned post at the top, and the blogs will be listed in the comments <3

Cameras in Special Needs Classrooms ~ An Interview

Today, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tara. She is the driving force behind Cameras in Special Needs Classrooms. As a parent of a child who was neglected when he was in public school, I stand behind her, and her mission, 100%. My son was fortunate in that he wasn't physically abused, but we can't say the same for MANY other children. Sadly, abuse in special needs classrooms happen every day. If we aren't their voice, who will be?

(images used with permission from Cameras in Special Needs Classrooms)

-Tara, could you tell me what inspired you to start Camera's in Special Needs Classrooms?

My son has moderate Autism, OCD, and TICS. May 10th 2012, he came home and said, "Teacher mean to me today." My thoughts were teachers can come off mean, that maybe she was just telling him to sit down or something. Well, later that day we met up with Corey's friend in his classroom. He mentioned that Corey was crying (meltdown) because he forgot his money. They teacher's aide came over to Corey, hit him in arm, grabbed his forearm, yanking his arm till she was face to face with Corey, and she screamed in his face. Corey agreed what had happened. I looked at Corey to see if he had bruising and he had four finger bruises on his forearm, matching the boys story. I then became furious. I took the photos of his arm. The next morning I went up to the school to let them know what the children said had happened to Corey, by the aide. The school said they would investigate and get back to me. They called me back a few hours later and said that, the children made up the story. That the aide never touched him. I asked if there were cameras, so I can see if the boys made up the story. They said no cameras. I then made a police report, and showed police photos of my sons arm. They said I can file a report to keep it on record, but told me there was not much they could do since it involved school staff. I shared my story and concerns with my group on Facebook called, Dealing with Autism. Many had stories of unexplained marks and bruises, neglect, abuse, and more. So I decided that people need to be aware of this so changes will happen. I started Cameras in special needs classrooms May 15th 2012.

--Why do you feel that states need to take this seriously, and have these cameras in ALL special needs classrooms?

Many of these children can not communicate for themselves. Many of them are not believed. Some childrens' lives are very fragile and need constant care.

What would be the benefit(s) of having these cameras in the classroom?

Cameras will help these children have a voice in school, and help staff with any false accusations. Parents from all 50 states have shared their stories and concerns. Abuse and neglect are happening all over. This can catch bad staff and remove them right away, preventing more abuse. Staff can also use these cameras as a great teaching tool. To learn about each child's needs. Camera can also prevent abuse. Staff members mqy think twice before harming a child. Cameras will not STOP abuse, but cameras will CATCH abuse.

What ways can we, as a community help this vision come to light? What can we do?

I stress that everyone calls, e-mails, and visits with their State Representatives, Senators, and Congress. Focus on the ones who specialize in the Education. Also, make a petition for your state, and have as many sign this petition as you can. Petitions can help back you up. Stress safety of the children and staff should be first priority. When you see children coming home with unexplained marks and bruises, neglected, raped, and killed while in staff care, that is not safe. I'm asking everyone to stand together on this fight for cameras in special needs classrooms. Share your stories and concerns. Your child may have a great teacher and staff but still something could go wrong. One day I would like to see them expand to all classrooms. Baby steps due to funding. Most vulnerable childrens' classrooms first.

I look at the photos above and I become sick. I can't believe that anyone could harm a child in such a way. I can't believe that schools won't step up to the plate and provide these cameras to assure the safety of our children. I can't believe that we, as special needs parents always have to fight so hard for our children. Safety should be a given in a school setting. This has to stop! 

To follow Tara, or to find out more on what YOU can do for your children, and many others in your state, check out Cameras In Special Needs Classrooms.

Thank you Tara for taking the time to answer these questions, and for providing me with permission to use your photos.

Sassy Grow Up Cup Review

  I'm sure by now you have all seen the commercials for the Wow Cup. Liam would see this commercial and scream, "mama! I want that!!! I could have a big boy cup!" But at 10 bucks a cup, my wallet shrunk back and cried a little.

So I went online and googled 'no spill cups,' and this is what I found! 

Sassy Grow Up Cup.

(this is the one Liam chose, it's a 7 oz cup and the handles can be removed)



  

This cup comes in 7 oz, 9 oz, and 12 oz. It's AFFORDABLE!!!! It can be found at Walmart! (We paid 10$ for 2 cups.) I have seen online it also comes with characters on it as well. (found at Toys R Us)

  So, lets face it, this cup is awesome for kids, especially special needs kids that have issues with spilling, or drinking. My kid has definite issues with all that. He has been using sports bottles or sippies since he was a year old. Now that he is turning 8, other kids are starting to notice, and Liam is starting to be conscious of it.

  As soon as we got the cups, I took the handles off. He then insisted I put them back on "because they are cool." He also wanted pop. NOTE: Soda does NOT do well in these cups. Too much carbonation makes it harder to get a seal and for the kiddo to get the proper "latch" to get any liquid out.

  Next, I put tea in it. At first, he had a hard time. He expected it to be more like a regular cup. It isn't. (I have even tried it so I can give this a review from my own experience as well)

It takes a bit to figure out how to drink from it. It's not like a regular sippy, where you can drink almost like a bottle. Once you start using it though, it works great. It doesn't flow fast, so there is no worry of choking. It also DOES NOT LEAK. I mean, you can hold it upside down, shake it, throw it, drop it~ it won't leak.

  In my opinion this cup rocks! Liam didn't like it at first, but now that he is used to it, he likes it. He gives it "two fumbs up for not spilling, and one fumb up for drinking!"

As a mom, I give it 2 thumbs up. It's so nice to give him a "big boy cup" and not have to worry where it will get spilled!!! 

Sentio Chews a Review

Kid Companions was super kind enough to send us one of their new Sentio CHEWS to try out and review. Liam was stoked to try it out.


Before I get into the meat of this review, let me share with you a bit about what a Sentio CHEW is.






Kid Companions Chewelry is a chewable necklace and wearable sensory tool for kiddos who like to fidget and chew. Sentio CHEWS are a new addition to the Chewelry family. They are:

FDA compliant, BPA, latex and metal free. SentioCHEWS are more durable than generic silicone chewables.

4 styles ~ Resilient soft rubber feel ~ Economical 1-part shapes ~ Breakaway paracord lanyards!

He took it right out of the package and put it on. He loved the color of the break away paracord lanyard. He also commented that he "loved the feel of it!" It does feel pretty cool. Very smooth and durable feeling.

So far, he has only taken it off to sleep, and as soon as he gets out of bed, he puts it right on. It has been in his mouth as much as it has been in his hands.




He chews it....










He fidgets (and flaps) with it :)






Liam is a VERY aggressive chewer, and has chewed through quite a few chewies in the past. I have yet to see ANY teeth marks or dental impression of any kind in his Sentio CHEW.

As a mother to a 7 year old boy, I like this chewy a lot. It's cute, but it doesn't stand out. Liam used to wear a chew tube on a lanyard, and many people thought it was a dog chew toy. (I kid you not.) The Sentio CHEW is as stylish as it is durable, and Liam loves the bright color of it. My point is, this chewy doesn't make him stand out when he's wearing it. It merely looks like a cute ice cream cone necklace.

The Sentio CHEW and Chewelry come in other cute designs as seen  below: 

For the Kid Companions Store: CLICK HERE