Mental Illness Affects Our Youth and They Need Our Help

    I have fecking had it with the mental health system in the United States. I know I know, I should be grateful we live here, but at the moment, I'm not.

    I'm not because absolutely no value is put into the mental health system or into our children's, or our lives.

    You finally find a place that accepts new patients, and doesn't just push drugs, you think you have it made. When you choose said place, part of your choice was made because they have "Emergency" Protocols set into place.

    You know that taking your child to the ER for mental health help is useless. They make you sit there all day, only to tell you you can A) take the child home, or B) send them to a state hospital hours from your home.

    So you think, "Wow! This place has emergency hours. Thank the LORT! Next time my child spirals into suicidal behavior, we'll have help!!"

..................................................................................... But guess what????

    That time comes, and nothing. You call them and explain your child is contemplating suicide, just to get a reprieve from his brain. Only to play phone tag for two days. Your child even takes it upon himself to call for help, and guess what???? He gets an appointment for ONE MONTH from now.

ONE FECKING MONTH!

    Call me ignorant, but isn't the definition of an emergency "a SERIOUS, UNEXPECTED, and DANGEROUS SITUATION REQUIRING IMMEDIATE ATTENTION??"

    Is a month from now immediate??

    Feck no it isn't! A lot of things could happen in a month!

    I used to work in a pediatric clinic. We too boasted that we had emergency appointments. And guess what? We ACTUALLY fecking had them! I left two slots open EVERY day in case of an emergency, so we could juggle people if we had too. Some days I had to fill them, but we ALWAYS made room. Even if that meant working after hours. Sometimes that meant working off the clock with NO PAY. But guess what? We were helping children and their families, so it was worth it.

    Is the world so money hungry that they have to book doctors full? And God forbid you may have to stay late to help someone. Especially a damn child.

    You know what you're showing him? That you don't give a damn. If his problems don't fit into your schedule then they aren't important. Way to make a child jaded at a young age.

    If we don't start stepping up, and speaking out about the mental health crisis facing the United States, we're going to lose our children. 

    You see, mental health affects them too. Many people don't realize that. Children can become suicidal. My son started at the young age of FIVE. Yes, at five years old. 

    Most physicians don't know how to handle a mentally ill child. They don't know what to do when you walk in and say, "My child needs help. He/She wants to kill themselves." And it seems that the ones that do are so fecking booked, that there's no time to fit your child in, in a time of crisis.

    What are we to do for our children? How can we help them if there's no help to be found?

The system is flawed.

This system is flawed. It's failing our children. Our children are sometimes in need of emergent care. It's NOT there for them. It's not fair. To them, or to the parents that care for them.

You see, last month, Liam hit rock bottom. I posted briefly about it, even blogged about in a round about way. (You can read that HERE.)

He had a regression of sorts. That's really the best word I can think to describe it. It started out of the blue. He came to us bawling. Told us his mind was telling him he might be gay, but he likes girls, so that can't be true. He was perseverating on this ideal, and he couldn't stop. He was crying, screaming, rocking, you get the idea.

His father and I tried to explain that it doesn't matter to us, or anyone in our family if he is heterosexual, or homosexual. He is still our boy. That didn't matter to him. Apparently some kid that was playing with Liam and a bunch of kids told Liam, "midgets are gay. and you're a midget, so you're gay."

Sounds stupid, I know, but to Liam, it wasn't. This then progressed. (Bear with me, this is hard to relive, and to actually type it is even worse.)

The next morning at 5 am, he awoke. He was sobbing and rocking uncontrollably. He told me that "because I am autistic, people think I am a killer. They said I will grow up to be a serial killer momma. I don't want to be that when I grow up. I'm not bad!"  He really said all this! This was stemming from the news stories on Adam Lanza months back. He heard it, and his mind tucked it away for a rainy day.

(**Note: When you are watching the news, you may think your kiddos aren't paying attention, but I assure you, THEY ARE. Take my advice, shelter them from the heartless media.)

So for DAYS, his mind was taking that story and twisting it about in his mind. He wasn't eating. Barely drinking. He was inconsolable. It didn't matter what we said, or what his therapists said. His mind was set that the world thinks he's a killer.

Now, I have to stop for a moment and thank his therapists and his former doctor from Youth Advocate Programs. They ALL went above and beyond their duties to not only help Liam, but his father and I. Really, they were there, all day, and into the evening checking in on us. I couldn't be more thankful to them all.
(Picture above was written by Liam, it reads "My Brane will not lev me olone." (my brain will not leave me alone.))
But, here is where the system falls apart. Your child is in crisis mode. What do you do? Well, it got bad enough, that we had to take him to the hospital. Sadly, they point blank told us, "We don't know what to do. We don't usually have to deal with this stuff." Say what? You see, they aren't trained to care for autistic people. They aren't trained in protocols to deal with these types of emergencies.

Again, thank god for YAP. Liam's MT met us at the hospital. She gave them the back story. She told them the protocol. So, another social worker was called in to give Liam an emergency evaluation. We actually knew her because Liam used to get services from that agency. Now pay attention, here is proof that the system is flawed.

Here were our options: Since he wasn't considered a danger to himself or us, he could go home. We could then call on Monday (this was a Friday afternoon) and get on a WAIT list for their child psychologist. But we were assured the wait was long~ MONTHS. OR, we could call another provider and get on their list. Our other option was to take him to the hospital in the next town over. That hospital has a psych center, but not for Peds. So, if they found him in need, they ship us via ambulance to a pediatric psych hospital that is TWO hours away from us.

Let that sink in a moment.... We have a psych center here, but NOTHING for children. So, do they think our kids aren't in need????

We made it through the weekend. He was eating calms tabs and valerian root like it was candy, to no avail. He couldn't stay off the toilet because his stomach was upset from his nerves, from not eating. Our hearts were being ripped from our chests. First thing Monday morning, I called the other service provider. YES, you read that right, I CALLED!

We were told it goes like this. You see the therapist that works for the Doctor, THREE times, THEN you can get on that Dr's wait list. WHAT???? What part of EMERGENCY ARE THEY MISSING HERE??? Now, I know my child isn't the only autistic kid in this area. I also know he isn't the only kid to need emergent care from time to time. So I didn't expect them to push other kids out to get mine in, but COME ON! This is the best they can do?

So we took it. Liam's BSC accompanied us to this appointment. We met with the woman. She was very nice. Liam was doing quite a bit better, but still in need of help soon. She told us that with all that was going on, she could push him up and waive the three appointments with her. We took it. We left feeling hopeful.

We got a call two days later (after we called them 5 times to find out the date of appt), her supervisor had approved the waiver and he was to see the psychiatrist on July 11th. A wait yes, but we had hope.

Now, the system is going to fail us again. We got a call from them last Wednesday. They had a cancellation for Thursday morning. I was ecstatic. We took it. I was on cloud 9! When I went to bed that night, I was jovial and excited. I felt that even though we were having problems, the system was actually working FOR us.

It wasn't. Neither was fate. Liam woke us up at 3 am that morning. Covered in vomit and tears. We were up with him ALL night. He was very sick. At 630 am his father said there was no way we could take him in there like that. He called the emergency cancellation number, told them Liam was sick and we wouldn't be in.

I was upset, but I knew July 11th wasn't too far away. Liam became more ill, so I was focused on that and not his upcoming appointment. On Saturday we got the mail, and there was a letter from the provider. They marked him an a no show, and he now has NO APPOINTMENT.

Excuse me, what???? It was a LONG weekend waiting until this morning to call.

This time, Pat called, he knew I was too angry to call, so he did. No wait for it, the system is screwing us again. This time, without vaseline so it's gonna hurt!

"Because you didn't give us a 24 hour notice, you were a no show. When we bumped you up, we gave him appointment on July 11th to someone else. The next appointment we have is August 11th."

Wait, WHAT????? So, because my child didn't get sick TWENTY FOUR HOURS BEFORE HIS APPOINTMENT, they marked him a no show. And, now he has to wait even longer for an appointment?

Where is the emergency in that????? Yes, he is doing better, but he NEEDS to be seen. He is still having moments where he can't get away from his mind. He is still taking Calms Tabs a few times a day. He is now having nightmares. He is now aggressive and nasty, or he will cry and have meltdowns for no apparent reason.

That doesn't matter to the system. This is how it works. It's like this EVERYWHERE! You hear stories of parents of severely autistic kids, and their cries for help going unanswered. I get it. WHILE I DON'T IN ANY WAY CONDONE THEM HARMING OR EVEN TAKING THEIR CHILD'S LIFE, I see what they mean when they say the system has failed them. Sadly, they are right.

The system is flawed. It's not prepared for our children. It's not developed for them. Something needs to change. Something needs to give.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO STEP UP AND HELP OUR CHILDREN.