The Autism Life

Sometimes the Autism life is harder on me, than it is him.

When we got home from grocery shopping Liam couldn't wait to get back outside and "find friends." So much so, that he dumped the litter pan, and forgot to bring it in, because he saw "friends" walking by.

He came flying in, vibrating with excitement he yelled, "Momma, J and his cousin J are walking around. Can I go with them?" (they are 11 and 16, so I feel safe when Liam is with them.) I told him yes, and he beamed. He flew into his classroom/toy room, grabbed an old Halloween mask, slapped it on his face, kissed my cheek (twice as always) and flew out the front door.

I smiled to myself. Today seemed to be a good day. Though he was stimmy, talking a mile a minute, and ready to cry at the drop of a hat, the kids were accepting him. That makes it a great day.

Not 5 minutes later, Liam comes back in. Mask in hand, he yells, "Is A here?"  I reply, "No. Why?" He said, "Because J told me A was here for me, and I should come play with him. So I came home!"

I stopped putting away the canned goods and walked into the living room. I could feel my face turning red. My ears were on fire. Apparently J and J didn't want Liam and his silly mask walking with them, so they told him A was here looking for him. To get rid of him.

I said, "Liam, you saw A up the road helping the neighbors, so you knew he wasn't here. Did they not want to walk with you?"

My heart is racing, my anger is rising....

Liam, nonchalantly says, "well, maybe," and goes back to looking at his Magic cards.

I paused for a few moments. I was choking back my tears. Why can't kids accept that he is different? Why can't they accept that different is OKAY.

My voice wavering I say to Liam, "well, when J comes over later to play Magic cards with you, tell him to go play with someone else." (I am tired of my son being jilted, and only good enough when these kids are bored.)

Liam looks at me puzzled and says, "No, Momma!"

I reply, "well, then, what will you say?"

Liam says with a big grin, "I will say, LET'S PLAY J!"

The innocence crushes my heart. I choke on my anger.

You see, I am the one bothered by Liam being turned away. It didn't bother him. He didn't care. He is just happy when a kid seeks him out. That is how kind, and how gentle his heart is.

I AM BLIGHTING MY CHILD!!!!

I am trying to harden his heart to this cruel world, and it's not right.

In an effort to keep him from being hurt, I am intervening with what is right for me, NOT for him. He ISN'T a "typical" kid, and sometimes I lose sight of that.

We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect. We all only want what is best for our kiddos. Sometimes we don't always know what that is. Sometimes, we are wrong.

 <3 <3 <3 <3

Monday, Monday.....

Ahh Monday......................... (Cue music from the mamas and the papas)

 When all the kiddos go back to school. No more in and out of everyone's kids tramping through my house. No more feeding and giving drinks out to all the kids. No more breaking up fights and figuring out who said and did what. No more wanting to choke parents for letting their kids act like jerks and treat my son like crap while also letting them disrespect us when we put them in their place. (Funny because they are the first parents to complain when their child is sent home for bad behavior, yet they are also the parents who are never around to see this behavior) No more listening to Liam cry because so and so said this, and so and so did that.

You know, no matter how many times we tell Liam to not play with certain kids, he always forgives and often forgets and plays with them anyway. He has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met. I enjoy our days together when all of these said children are In school. When I hear the bus in the afternoon my stomach burns and my hearts sinks because I know that it's only a matter of time until something crappy happens.

Yet he insists on playing with them and I can't shelter him from ignorance all his life. I need to teach him right from wrong and how he can be a better person. But you know, help from other parents in the way they are rearing their kids would help. STOP covering up for them. STOP acting like they do no wrong. STOP letting them disrespect adults and bully other children and act like that is okay. You are raising our future. What you do now sticks with them later. You're not doing them any damn favors. 

My son is by no means perfect and I laugh when I hear ignorant neighbors say I think my kid does no wrong. When my kid is wrong he is punished and dealt with accordingly, which is what you should be doing with your kid. Instead you choose to be their friend and so let them do whatever they damn well please. Is it wrong that I sit back and wait for that to blow up in your face????

It's not like it was when we were kids. Your child is going to threaten to kill the wrong person and will a)result in CPS investigations and school expulsions or b)juvenile delinquent charges. When this happens don't look for sympathy here. Hubs and I have been trying to get through to all of you and your kids for the last 5 years. You choose not to listen. You choose not to make your kids listen. Sad really. Part of me feels bad that you don't care enough about your children to make them mind. Part of me feels bad for every child like my son who they mistreat. Part of me is waiting for another child to put them in their place. Hey, I'm  only human. I can only sit back and nurture my son's broken heart and shattered ego because of your child so many times, without growing bitter to you all.

The worst offenders have been told they are no longer welcome here, as have their parents. I also laugh when one parent in particular told her child he's not allowed around mine or our home. Why? Are you afraid he may actually be taught right from wrong, and how to respect other human beings? I am sitting here smirking because these are the people this post targets, and they will never read it. Not because I am hiding it, but because they don't care. The parents that care, like you and I, are the parents that read stuff like this. The parents that get it. The parents that don't let their children, special needs or not, be jerks to other children, special needs or not. We are the parents that are raising our futures right. To that I say, I admire you all! To the rest, you have my pity. I pray my son doesn't read about your child being in jail some day. I pray my son isn't your child's boss some day. I pray my son can always forgive and forget and NEVER treat your child the way you let yours treat my son.....
                                                                   
                                                                        ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥